Graduation is so close…
I am very close to finishing school. Before I leave Alaska, I will have completed all the clinical hours and course work necessary. I will be able to schedule my licensing exam and hopefully pass it before graduation. After the last 2 years of working 40+ hours per week and going to school it seems hard to imagine that it will be over. It will be strange to be unemployed and not in school, not that I expect the unemployed part to last long (Fingers crossed). Of course, there are things I am looking forward to; reading a book that isn’t required, having a schedule that allows time for exercise, time for coffee with my kiddos and date nights with my person, not spending weekends studying or taking exams. But the idea of being in practice on my own, without a preceptor or instructor to co-sign my decisions is pretty terrifying.
It is a pretty great responsibility to ask patients to trust you with their most personal thoughts and stories and to make decisions that impact people’s brains! I never took this lightly, but as the time for solo practice comes closer it is definitely on my mind more. My preceptors, instructors and family all tell me that I am ready. That they have no doubt about it. It is definitely nice to hear and sometimes after I see a patient and know exactly what to try, I feel ready myself. Enter the next patient…and the terror is back! They might have tried everything already, they might be on a whole pharmacy of medication already, they might be pissed off. It is so easy to wish that someone would be by my side with a great idea but instead I am expected to have the great idea.
Here is what I discovered by coming to Alaska and being 3000 miles from home.
#1 - I am going to be able to figure it out a lot of the time.
#2 - I can always take the time to look something up before making a decision.
#3 - I have a whole list of websites, books, articles and past lectures that can guide me.
#4 - To practice the pause. (Spoiler alert! This is good advice for life in general.) In the nano second between when something pops into your head, and you respond there is an opportunity to pause. The pause may be to consider if you should give your opinion, to think about the right wording, to allow someone else to say more or to remind yourself to assume unconditional positive regard (a Dr. Sean P. Convoy favorite). It might be just to breathe but practicing the pause allows the space to for the energy in the space to shift.
#5 - And this one is the most important! I am not in it alone! Over the past 2 years I have found a tribe of people whose judgement and opinions I trust and respect. A tribe who may disagree with me about things but who will do so respectfully. A tribe who has helped me consider my perspectives and view things differently. They are in Texas, New York, California, Georgia, Oregon, Michigan, New Jersey, North Carolina and Alaska. These are people who all have different backgrounds and experience. They are people that will know why they are practicing the way they are and have rationale for their decisions. They are the people whose brains and hearts I will trust when I need an assist and I hope that I can do the same for them.