Just when you thought a plan was coming together!
So you thought you had plans…
I know I sure had plans, but apparently, I got a little too confident in the plan and the world decided I needed a different path. Currently, I am in the final semester of a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner program. I am traveling to Alaska in 5 days to complete my last clinical rotation, an amazing experience that was offered to me. Now if you know me, this is totally out of my comfort zone but I have been preparing to take this leap for a couple of months. I had a fulltime job; with people I love in an organization that treats those struggling with addiction with respect and kindness. I hoped to continue my career with this organization. I had a partner to watch look after our dogs and our home. I had a license to work in Alaska.
My plan was simple. Complete clinicals in early April, pass my boards and return to my job in the role of nurse practitioner. Settle into life without school. A life where books could be read because I was curious and not because they are assigned. Vacations could be to new places and not revolve around an every semester trip to campus in North Carolina. I could finally catch up on housework and have a garden this summer. As it turns out, that is not meant to be. Last week, I found myself with the realization that I would not be returning to my current employer. The reasons don’t matter, you can imagine the panic that set in. I am not that much of a go with the flow kind of gal.
I find myself reeling and without much time to change plans. My mind racing with thoughts of how I should proceed. My heart heavy with sadness sprinkled with a bit of disbelief. With no time to find a new clinical site, without postponing graduation I am moving forward with my Alaskan adventure. Nothing is packed, I don’t know the address of where I am staying, the heel is coming off my favorite boots…and then a quote came up on my social media. “Things get harder just before you level up. Remember that.”
The last few days have been a roller coaster. I have cried, laughed, received messages of support from colleagues, co-workers and friends. I have been angry and annoyed and I have definitely spent time in my pajamas on the couch. I am however, a person that believes things happen for a reason and the road we travel leads us exactly where we are meant to me. I am going to trust that even though my plans are changing and the rug was pulled out from under me, there is somewhere else that I am meant to be. So, I am walking away from the plans I made and the path I was on. I am taking with me all that I have learned and a heart full of memories.
So, this is my new plan… I am choosing to believe that I am about to level up and I am going to blog my way through my Alaskan adventure so those who are interested can follow along. I will be working in mental health while I am in Alaska and know that there will be so much to learn. Along the way I will share what I am learning, discuss mental health issues and hopefully have some time to explore Alaska.
Once I return, I will decide what comes next and if you are still following along on my adventure, you will be among the first to know. Now, I have to run. There is laundry to do and a suitcase to pack. Plus, for some reason I can only find one mitten and I think I better address that problem before arriving in Alaska.